The other day, I saw a movie where the villain was played by a black actor. So I immediately pulled out my air horn and honked it until everyone in the theater was half deaf--and then when the security guard came and asked me to leave (--the nerve of that fucker!--), I yelled "Rosa Parks" at the top of my lungs and I called up Al Sharpton. As far as I'm concerned, movie villains should be played by white people. Movie heroes, on the other hand, should be played by Samuel L. Jackson. We should put him in as many movies as possible. And we should put Seth Rogen in prison.