Directions from 123 Oak St. Los Angeles CA to 124 Oak St. Los Angeles CA
1. Don’t be a smart ass. It’s right across the fucking street.
Directions from 123 Camden Dr. Beverly Hills CA to 456 Crack St. Compton CA
1. What are you—fucking nuts?! Do yourself a favor and just stay where you are. No one’s ever had a good reason for going from Beverly Hills to Compton. … What? You still want the directions? Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Don’t come crying to me tomorrow and saying something like, “Why did you give me directions to what turned out to be my anal raping?”
2. Start out by going Northwest on Camden Dr. towards Olympic Blvd. … Which way’s northwest? … Jeez—do I have to do everything for you? Just drive towards your crazy ex-girlfriend’s apartment. … What do you mean which crazy ex-girlfriend? All three of them live on the same block.
3. Get onto the freeway.
4. Get off of the freeway.
5. Lock your door, close your windows, and start praying to every God under and over the sun.