The Library: Revised and Condensed
Instructions:
Open eyes
Read
Turn pages
Blink and breathe when needed
For best results, use another book instead of this one
Ingredients: Wood, corn syrup, grits, natural flavoring (made from natural sewage and nuclear waste), Grey 42, Grey 42, hut, hut, hike, something that looks like rotten cheese, anything we could find in our neighbor’s trash bins, soap scum.