Hello, John Doe. We have recommendations for you (and they’re all porn, you fucking pervert!)
Liberals Suck Balls by R.E. Publican
3.5 stars (320,624,256,219,215,738 customer reviews)
List Price: $24.99 Price: $17.25 475,320 used and new from -$1.98
Conservatives Suck Balls by Dem O. Crat
3.5 stars (318,724,354,658,325,158 customer reviews)
List Price: $22.99 Price: $15.25 375,343 used and new from -$1.73
JK Rowling and the Sorcerer’s Stone by Harry Potter
4.5 stars (838 customer reviews)
List Price: $14.99 Price: $14.98 99/100 456 used and new from $4.98
The Flavor of the Week Diet by M.D. Em Dee, M.D.
4 stars (138 customer reviews)
List Price: $14.99 Price: $0.99/lb. 756 used and new from $8.84
You by Me, M.D.
4.25 stars (0 customer reviews)
List Price: $13.99 Price: $9.23. 118 used and new from $4.04
The Secrets “They” Don’t Want You to Know About by They Don’t Want You to Know My Name
They Don’t Want You to Know How Many Stars (They don’t want you to know how many customer reviews)
List Price: They Don’t Want You to Know Price: They don’t want you to know They don’t want you to know how many used and new from They don’t want you to know how much
Zac Efron’s Favorite Taco Stands by John Grisham, Tom Clancy, and Stephen King
5 stars (215 customer reviews)
List Price: $9,999,999.99 Price: $GNP of Honduras 81 used and new from $8
The Secret (Hint: It Has Something to do With Oprah Winfrey’s Endorsement) by pH Balanced for a Woman
4.5 stars (123 customer reviews)
List Price: $19.99 Price: 1999 used and new from $19.99
If He’s Not That Into You, He Must Be Gay by Rhea Surrance
4.5 stars (73 customer reviews)
List Price: $12.34 Price: $56.78 910 used and new from $11.12
90% of Your Problems are Fucking Stupid by Dr. Phil
4.5 stars (71 customer reviews) Who the fuck are you to judge me?!
List Price: $19.99 Price: 0 used and new from $99.91
The Dr. Seuss Collection: The Gas in My Ass, The Crazy Lady Who Says It’s My Baby, Free Range Eggs and Meatless Ham, The Wife Who Ruined My Life, Ten Dollar Hookers and Five Games of Snooker, and The War in Iraq by Dr. Seuss
999999 stars (99999 customer reviews)
List Price: $99.99 Price: $9.99 99 used and new from $0.09
Give Peace a Chance by Mahatma Gandhi, Princess Diana, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Jimmy Carter
4.5 stars (73 customer reviews)
Your Bid: $17 Actual Retail Price: $19.99 A difference of: $2.99
No! by George Bush, Dick Cheney, Theodore Roosevelt, and GI Joe
4.5 stars (73 customer reviews)
List Price: $19.99 Price: $19 and $0.99 4 used and new from $0.99 and $19
Rocket Science for Dummies
4.5 stars (73 customer reviews)
List Price: $20 Price: $10 4 used and new from $5
Shoelace Tying for Geniuses
4.5 stars (73 customer reviews)
List Price: $19.99 Price: ($19.99 x 0.98) – ($3.04 + 0.20)2
Intelligent Design is Stupid by Richard Dawkins
4 stars (45 customer reviews)
List Price: $13,025,028,978.21 Price: 13,025,028,978.22 -12 used and new
Richard Dawkins is Stupid by God
4 stars (42 customer reviews)
List Price: $6,004.00 Price: God Knows 4 used and new from $99.91