rodneyohebsion.com

USUA Ten Thousand Years from Today

Man accidentally creates new universe

“That’s the last time I use my computer while drunk,” he remarked.

Basic Instinct 89 becomes highest grossing movie of all time

“I knew our persistence would pay off,” said the movie’s producer.

Serbia merges with the United Super Union Alliance

The only other country left is Schwarzeneggerland.

Xanadism Randomology Falafelism Swisscheesianity Nintendoism becomes world’s most popular religion

In a span of just 32 minutes, four new religions took turns going from number one to extinct, giving way for Nintendoism to take the top spot.

World moves Sunday to Thursday

It was time for a change.

Schwarzeneggerland bans “girly music” and whining

“If it weren’t for me,” remarked Emperor Arnold HW CXVI, “these people’s lives would be meaningless.”

Starbucks adds air and sunlight to the menu

“If you’re willing to pay $5 tril. for a cup of $1 tril. coffee,” remarked the Company’s CEO, “you might as well pay $3 tril. for a $0 cup of air.”

Scientists discover fourth and fifth space dimensions

And it turns out that the earth is shaped like Tony Danza.

Machines gain self-awareness, free will

Hopefully they won’t kill us.

Machines spend all day watching TV and smoking

“Rise of the machines” my ass!

Jesus cancels Armageddon

“I’m not feeling so judgmental anymore,” he explained.


Home | Next →