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USA Yesterday

Top Story: President Does and Says Shit

The president did and said some shit yesterday. Some people were happy, others were pissed.

President to Do Shit and Say Shit Tomorrow

The president is planning to do and say some shit tomorrow.

Middle Eastern Men Are Pissed

A group of Middle Eastern men are really freakin’ pissed.

Man Complains

Some guy complained about some shit some other guys did.

WEATHER

Ever heard of the internet?

LOTTERY RESULTS

1, 3, 15… What’s the point? You know you lost.

SPORTS

Top Story: Team Wins

A team of big strong guys beat another team of big strong guys.

Afterwards, some guy from the winning team had the usual shit to say.

BUSINESS

Stocks Down

Stocks were down two percent yesterday—and to be honest, we have no idea why.


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